As the blog title states, my name is Jennica. Growing up I hated the name; I despised it; I thought it was so ordinary and boring. After all, I had heard it every. Day. Of. My. Life. I really wanted something I thought was more exciting. I wanted it to be: Jessica. I’m not kidding. I dreamt about being able to rename myself, I named my dolls, my Barbie dolls, all my play characters the beloved name that I thought for sure I could talk my parents into. It didn’t happen. You can call me, think of me, and refer to me still as my given name, now married name: Jennica Smith.
As Jennica, I’ve lived quite the life. I was molested, played like a puppet by my molester, coached into involving the wrong person, hurt some people that I love deeply when I was young, loved, married, had traumatic pregnancies, early deliveries, premature babies, been cheated on, divorced, remarried (in three weeks after meeting Mr. Forever), hated by the ex-wife, lost a brand new half million dollar home to mold, lost all our belongings, lost our health and that of our 4 children, experienced a healthy divorce,…corruption in the court system from an unhealthy divorce (not mine) that us and multiple others have unwittingly been dragged into, (to the point of being almost unbelievable without seeing the proof), we have been spied on, our money has been stolen, we have basically lived a Hollywood movie (any takers – it’s Liam Neeson good – the first Taken good that is, not the ones after), we’ve have gone through two geriatric (joy filled) pregnancies in two years, also premature, one severely premature, to now sitting and starting this blog.
I have learned through my roller coaster never ending life, that joy is in every bend, every high, and every low. It’s there for the picking, God’s love is there, he is waiting to wrap his arms around you – and during the moments when you just can’t reach out and ask He wrap them, He’ll know, and in those moments He’ll kneel at your side, He’ll scoop you up, and He’ll hold you for as long as you need – because you never stop being His child. And in those quiet, painful, tear-filled moments, when you are nestled into his bosom by no effort of your own you will find the peace to take one more step, and you will look up and you will find your heart starts to feel joy because you know that even with all the crap life has just thrown at you, you are going to beat it and go on. That is what I am here to tell you. That is what I am here to teach you. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly – we are going to talk about it all and we are going to stand up and say – wow, life is pretty great, even on the days when I sit on the couch watching reruns, eating greasy foods and ignoring all responsibility because I need a break, life is pretty great. Tomorrow is another day and I needed one grease filled mindless day to get to the really fully accomplished ones, and one grease filled mindless day (or two) is just as important as one or two fully accomplished ones. Friends, we got this. Strap in, paste on a smile, and let me teach you how to make it real no matter what comes at you. Because that’s what all of my experiences combined have taught me and that’s what I feel I should be, that is what I want to be shouting from the roof tops.
I am a wife of one man, I have six beautiful, perfect, alway obedient, hard working, children. Part of that is even true. 5 boys and 1 lovely, spacey, creative, dramatic, mini-me, daughter (that’s all true). Two of my boys are mine by marriage, so born in my heart, grown in my heart, sewn forever as a part of me, just don’t carry my blood. I have two cats and one dog, which I am desperately trying to plead to make into two dogs (by adding, not slicing), but my hubs thinks our zoo, animal wise, is more than complete and is pushing a little against the whole idea. We’ll get there, slowly but surely, it just takes time and a few fist fights (again, not really). I live on the top of a lovely mountain in a beautiful home that is sometimes clean, and I enjoy most every second of the living, and I more than enjoy every second spent with my people. My heart is overflowing every moment that we’re all together. And in the very few moments that it isn’t, I leave and go get pizza.
I look forward to embarking on this journey with you.
Jennica (always have been, apparently always will be). Let’s get this goodness going.